Well, perhaps not, as fish aren’t normally my forte. I do love a nice piece of fish, preferably baked with some garlic and butter, maybe parsley, but then food isn’t what this is about.

Largely, this entry is about being an entry, having an entry, and masquerading as an entry. I haven’t updated for a month now (exactly) despite my rather impressive time available in which to do so.

Why?

Well - a few reasons. My previous update was done in the third week of my five weeks of insanity period, during which I had two creative writing folios due (the first two weeks), an essay due (the fourth week) and a major exam (the fifth week). As such, this little place got a tad sidelined. No real biggie, but it still happened.

Also, my next post was going to be the next half of my last post, when I realised a few things. Firstly, it was way too short to justify being separated, secondly, it wasn’t going to add much intelligence to the world (although it is kinda fun to go over the drafts) and thirdly, it doesn’t really belong here.

Sure, this is a dumpbox for what I’m thinking at the time of writing. But then, for thoughts such as my last essay/article, this isn’t the appropriate forum, as per my own thoughts; rather, there’s a section of my long-neglected-and-suffering website devoted to these kinds of things. And, thinking about it, maybe I should just get my arse into gear, do something with the website (as in, maybe, make it all work) and start using it for the purposes I’ve got it for.

Basically, I’m trying to organise myself a bit more. Hopefully that’ll come through, sooner or later.

As for what I’ve been up to? Well, I’ve done a chunk of work on Alterael (which I’m waiting to hear Sam’s opinion about before I charge on ahead), I’ve spent a lot of time with Yuna Mark II in Final Fantasy X-2 (and will be doing so again shortly!) and I’ve watched both Haibane Renmei & Evangelion again, complete, as well as a few other anime shows and episodes with friends at Miles’ place.

I’d forgotten how incredibly moving both of those were. Makes me feel slightly sad, to think how much just gets subsumed in what we do as we live. Hence the current music, which is an important theme for Evangelion, and, despite it’s rather amusing upbeat sound, is a very impressive and soulfully melancholy piece of music. Perhaps the next thought is a bit morbid, but if I do get around to organising a funeral for myself at some point, this’d be a song I’d want performed.

*Komm, Süßer Tod - Arianne *

*I know, I know I’ve let you down rnI’ve been a fool to myself rnI thought that I could rnlive for no one else rnBut now through all the hurt & pain rnIt’s time for me to respect rnthe ones you love rnmean more than anything

So with sadness in my heart rn(I) feel the best thing I could do rnis end it all rnand leave forever

what’s done is done it feels so bad rnwhat once was happy now is sad rnI’ll never love again rnmy world is ending

I wish that I could turn back time rncos now the guilt is all mine rncan’t live without rnthe trust from those you love rnI know we can’t forget the past rnyou can’t forget love & pride rnbecause of that, it’s kill’in me inside

It all returns to nothing, it all comes rntumbling down, tumbling down, rntumbling down rnIt all returns to nothing, I just keep rnletting me down, letting me down, rnletting me down

In my heart of hearts rnI know that I called never love again rnI’ve lost everything rneverything rneverything that matters to me, matters rnin this world

I wish that I could turn back time rncos now the guilt is all mine rncan’t live without rnthe trust from those you lovernI know we can’t forget the past rnyou can’t forget love & pride rnbecause of that, it’s kill’in me inside

It all returns to nothing, it just keeps rntumbling down, tumbling down, rntumbling downrnIt all returns to nothing, I just keep rnletting me down, letting me down, rnletting me downrnIt all returns to nothing, it just keeps rntumbling down, tumbling down, rntumbling downrnIt all returns to nothing, I just keep rnletting me down, letting me down, rnletting me down *

rnThat and Aozora. I love that song.

rnAlcata’riel.

-Andiyar