I’ve just figured something out… kinda. Well, realised is more likely than ‘figured something out’ I suppose. This evening I went into Thunderbird and did something that I normally do on the fly - that is, clean out my inbox. Kind of required, when you’re like me and archive all of your email to disk (I have over ten thousand emails, around two thousand of them primary, and they date back for at least three years - I have more archived elsewhere) for… well, for ‘posterity’, as long as I’m the posterity involved here.

Normally, as I mentioned, I do this ‘on the fly’ being, I receive a dozen emails say, five are read and trashed, three are sorted into wherever they go, and the rest are left alone. I have been a tad slack in this regard recently, and so I started to get some done this evening - still have a bit to do, but am in the process of deleting of deleting things like comment notifications, PM notifications, newsletters and the like - suprising some of the stuff I’ve let ‘fall through’ recently.

So what have I figured out? Well, whilst I was doing all this deleting, I decided it might be ‘interesting’ to go back and reread some of my emails from various people, friends, etc, over the past while. While being undefined, really, as some were over a year old.

The moral of the story? I shouldn’t. I really shouldn’t have done that to myself, at all. Some things innocuous, some amusing, some disturbing, and some emotional. I am very upset right now - with myself, primarily.

As I’ve kinda pointed out, I’m an email whore. But the way I feel right now, I’ve come this close to purging the entire damn inbox.

It just makes me want to take a leaf out of a David Eddings book (a good one, naturally), and walk outside, throw up my hands and scream “Why me?” as loud as I possibly can.

Alcata’riel.

-Andiyar