Last Monday, being the 19th of June 2006, I did something that I haven’t done in quite some time - namely lie/sit down and read an entire, brand new (never read before, in other words) fantasy novel through from start to finish, in a couple of hours. And so, I’m going to write about it.

Now, firstly - no, it’s not unusual for me to be reading a book or two in a day, certainly not to be reading them that fast. It was more the ‘yay bought a brand new book’ thing, as for the most part, i tend to reread a lot of fantasy - I’m only tending to buy a few books a year, due to the slow writing nature of several authors I follow.

Secondly, I’m guessing several people are curious as to what the book actually is. Well, if you’ve read this journal before, you’d know I’ve read works by our dear American friend David Eddings before. So yes, it’s an Eddings book. In fact, the final volume of his series ‘The Dreamers,’ which began with The Elder Gods, was continued in Treasured One and Crystal Gorge and is then now brought to a finish with this volume, predictably enough entitled The Younger Gods.

Why has it taken me a week to get to this entry, considering I’m on break from uni anyway, and have nothing better to do? Let’s just say that such a force of passion was raised in me by this book that I thought it was necessary to wait and digest, before I shared these thoughts with the world.

Before I get to the actual ‘review’ though, I’ll make a small confession. I’m not incredibly proud of the sentiment I expressed, but here it is. At around four p.m I finished the book, put it down, and thought, “I hope he dies before he writes another book.” Does this perhaps tell you how I felt about that book? Immediately I felt somewhat contrite… but I think that, even now, I would prefer that David Eddings never write anything ever again. And if he can magically erase the entirety of The Dreamers from history, I’ll not miss it at all.

For those who’ve read the series, or indeed any Eddings since the Tamuli, it will come as no surprise to learn that we’re still following pretty much the same old formula. And indeed, using the same characters. My gripe with the Dreamers (and to a lesser extent, with The Redemption of Althalus) was that the same characters from the Tamuli/Elenium and even Belgariad/Malloreon had been cut-and-pasted into a new, and not very interesting world, with a completely unengaging plot. That was the problem with Elder Gods. Treasured One ameliorated that a bit for me, being the high point of the series. Crystal Gorge, whilst not being quite as engaging, was a relatively solid effort, which continued the series on. For The Younger Gods I was hoping for something about as good, just to finish the series off, and let me stop buying it, and perhaps even hook me into reading it again sometime. Nothing earth shattering (I’d given up on it by now), but something solid.

In terms of ratings, I’d have given The Elder Gods two stars, Treasured One four, Crystal Gorge three. I was a hoping for another three star effort. But I’ll say this now - Younger Gods would be lucky for me to give it two. I might even drop down to one. It is, quite literally, the worst book Eddings has ever written, and that I have read. And considering that I’ve read every single thing he’s released except for High Hunt and Losers, I’m probably well placed to judge.

Flash back, if you’re a reader of The Dreamers. Doubtless you remember Ara and Omago, the farming couple from Veltan’s Domain? And you probably figured out that Ara was God, right? Or Mother. Or whatever. I did, anyway, and I was waiting for Eddings to suddenly surprise the ‘Gods’ in the story. Does he? Well… not exactly. He has someone he calls ‘Misty Lady’ appear as a glowing form at a conference, and several of the Gods are confused. The next meeting? He refers to her as ‘Misty Lady’ again once more… and then just names here ‘Ara.’ Right there, in black and white. No revelation, nothing. We’re just assuming they know, and it isn’t raised.

Continuity loses points.

We have a token crazy goddess too - Aracia. She, for lack of a better term, does a Ctuchik, from the Belgariad. Recycling a concept that you used before a main theme of a magic again, and then executing it in almost exactly the same fashion… thirty years later? It was painful to watch her attempt to command something to ‘Be Not’ - and I swear, it was almost the exact same terminology.

Oh yes, and Ara again - her husband Omago? He’s like, duplicate male version of ultimate God. And he remembers who he really is, having… forgotten… and then picks up three incidental characters (Longbow, Keselo, Rabbit) - who just happen to be the most interesting people in the book - and finishes the entire war with the Vlagh like snapping his fingers together.

deus ex machina. Check.

Another aside - Longbow? His friend we’ve seen so far is Red-Beard. His Chief is Old Bear. Their shaman is One-Who-Heals. And in this book, we’re introduced to his old pals, Tracker, and Sleeps-With-Dogs.

At least ‘Belgarion’ was inventive. And ‘Althalus’. Even ‘Sparhawk’ was better than that.

The dialogue in the book is exactly the same as Edding’s dialogue was in Althalus (which was basically mixing the Malloreon and the Tamuli together). The characters are the same stereotypes. With the same feel and the same actions. In fact, almost all of the characters in The Dreamers have been almost exactly the same anyway, let alone just carbon copies of older characters. We’ve got a race of Romans (Trogite), a race of Vikings (Maag), some random farmers, and some tribesmen. Who all speak the same language, use the same intonation, the same terms of address, the same actions, the… argh!

Anyway, as I mentioned, Omago and our favourite friends destroy the evil bad thing. And now it gets terrible. Basically… well, perhaps I’ll spoil it properly at another time. But let’s just say that the most irritating character ever (whom we shall refer to as ‘Eleria’) basically makes a demand which is obliged - effectively, ensuring that the entire story never actually happened, due to the stupid notion of time travel,

You know those really, really bad stories that end with “it had all been a terrible dream?” The equivalent of that. Oh, and the final line of the book ends with “to collect many years worth of hugs.” The ending was, shall we say, absolutely terrible.

It was after this line of hugs I had my “please let Eddings die before he does this to his characters again” thought. I loved Eddings at twelve, I still reread the Greater Belgariad / Sparhawk Novels on occasion. I can see their flaws, but I accept them, as they are part of the books - sometimes the writing grates a bit now, but it is still fun. Althalus? Sometimes. The Dreamers? I’ll have my $120AUD back now, thanks. I doubt I will ever read these novels again. If I do, I’ll be very surprised indeed, or just completely bored out of my mind, and thinking back, “they couldn’t have been that bad right?”

If I do hit this point, I hope I retain enough clarity of mind to hit up this LJ entry and remind myself exactly why I should not. I really, really do.

Other stuff later.

rnAlcata’riel.

-Andiyar